there’s an old saying on the weed farm.. ‘Merl and Todd aren’t too particular about the weather.. so long as it’s a breezy, sunny, non humid day between the temps of 68 and 76. Really, they aren’t asking for much.’ …except that is, to NOT live in the Midwest. The fabulous man mentioned above is basically the 7th member of our family, and the *best at sashaying past you with a cutting remark whilst he flips one of his numerous scarves over his shoulders. [*giving him the queen bee title says a lot for anyone who knows me] However, we are equally adept at bemoaning the mercurial beast that is weather in the creamy white filling of our US of A. Take this spring for example. After surprise snow flurries in the middle of April, Mama N then decides to flick the switch over to broil and skyrocket the temps to the upper 80′s a few scant days later. After that? Frost warnings and frigid winds. After that? A day that starts in the mid 90′s and sinks to the mid 60′s by 3 pm with no visible change in the weather. I don’t know who Mama N has been seeing these days, but she needs to keep a better eye on her medicine cabinet. Those bi-polar meds can catch a pretty dime on the streets.

[denim jacket-thrifted // trousers- buffalo xchange // wedges- dear golden // black T- thrifted // clutch- bee's netta via milk handmade // gemini necklace- julie nolan // vera necklace- clyde's rebirth]

Isn’t it amazing how I went from lamenting the weather to casting Mother Nature as a serial dater with a mental disorder? I don’t know whether to delete and start over, or give my imagination a pat on the crazay back. If you’re reading this, obviously it’s the former.

Moving on! This outfit was the result of stomping around my apartment [which only made me sweat more] on one of those sweltering days while I cursed my lack of appropriate summer weather attire. Luckily, the simple cotton T, loose khaki trousers I so carefully hacked off a few inches of and perfectly shrunken denim jacket [that I had on earlier in the day, but ripped off in a sudden hot flash.. and then re-donned for photos] kept me reasonably cool while being simple and unfussy. As I approach the last year of my 20′s [!!!], I’ve come to terms with what I’m most comfortable in.. the basics. Providing that the basics are high quality, fit well and have a timeless quality that allows them years of wear and inevitably tear at my clumsy, constantly dingy hands. Naturally, this fits in well with my ethos, as well as saves me time and sanity when getting dressed each most days. It’s not that I’m opposed to bold colors and wild prints.. in fact, I look quite dashing in many of them. However, I have a ‘less is more’ approach to style these days, and find myself erring on the side of minimal to stark versus loud and complicated. That said, my summer wardrobe still needs work so I’m on the hunt for the perfect drapey, but not boxy light shift dress, a few high waisted pairs of breezy palazzos [or jumpsuit?] & maybe a pair or two cutlottes, as well as one ..or five more fitted crop tops to wear with said high waisted bottoms, and lastly this smock that I can wear working in the studio, and loose over a bandeau and a slinky pencil skirt come nighttime.. man, even though I love supporting other small businesses & designers, I really wish I could sew; I have pages and pages of clothing designs that I desperately want to hang in my closet [..and you know, wear]. anyone wanna donate their garment creation skills to this friendly ginger? I’ll pay you in jewels and cat hair..

[x]m.

**photos by Rachel Winslow // visit the facebook page for the outtakes**

]]> http://www.merlkinzie.com/2013/05/spring-in-the-midwest/feed/ 3 http://www.merlkinzie.com/2013/05/instant-update/ http://www.merlkinzie.com/2013/05/instant-update/#comments Wed, 15 May 2013 20:21:23 +0000 merl http://www.merlkinzie.com/?p=492

[{L-R} this happened.. again // mr scooty boots was pretty much convinced I smuggled in high grade catnip to OKC // clyde giving my new green babies a taste test // you can now shop a select clyde's rebirth pieces @ Milk Handmade in Andersonville! // you kittens spoke {yelled} and I listened.. new earring styles coming soon! // being a tourist with my darling gal pal Nikka who's a temporary Chicago resident]

my computer’s hard drive decided to crash last week. oh sure, I had some minimal warning signs.. programs constantly shutting down or running slowler than an obese hamster on a rusty wheel, randomly shutting off when there’s still 20% battery life left, and generally being an incredibly frustrating piece of technology. yet I was still shocked and angered when it wheezed out it’s final death rattle. getting a new one was merely annoying [and slightly costly] but what almost had me chucking the entire thing out the window was the fact that my external hard drive that I had so carefully backed up on almost every day WASN’T LETTING ME ACCESS ALL MY DATA. though my title has never been ‘customer service representative’ every single job I’ve worked at has had this element firmly entrenched in my duties, so I try very hard not to take out said murderous rage towards a device on the staff required to help us customers out. however, after 2 days of trying to reach someone who wouldn’t simply ask me the same questions over and over in an accent I can barely understand, I was losing my last shred of sanity. thankfully the last rep, after asking me to try ‘admin’ for the 1982374 time and hearing me literally bite off the end of every reply, transferred me to a very friendly gentleman who had me switch one setting on my computer and VOILA! access to my hard drive. I could’ve reached through the phone and hugged the shit out of him. maybe even toss in an ass grab for good measure.

and that, little kittens, is my excuse as to why I have only instagram photos to share with you today. I plan to do a full recap -with photos- of my trip to OKC to visit an awesome shop, an awesome couple of ladies, two awesome felines and meet a whole damn room full of awesome, inspiring artistpreneurs like myself. I even have an outfit post coming later this week! I know, I know, you guys will believe when you see it. I don’t blame you.

[x]m.

{insert dramatic drum roll here……and then click on the photo to view the lookbook!}

First off, I would be remiss if I did not shout something from the rooftops right quick: HAPPY EARTH DAY!!! I can safely say this is the first Monday in awhile that I’ve been happy to bound  stumble out of bed with a smile on my face. Not only is this a day that Mama N should be showered with gratitude, gifts of freshly planted greenery and a refusal to use any but the most necessary electricity, but it’s also -insanely appropriately enough!- the day I launch my spring/summer 2013 jewelry lookbook! I think this calls for a group wide dolphin squeal: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My ‘vision,’ if you will excuse me dropping an lofty term into the mix, was to showcase how my pieces are worn by a variety of ladies, all with different styles and career backgrounds. I reached out to some stylish and ‘green’ minded ladies to see if they would be interested in schmizing for my camera and was tickled pink when they said yes! My only requirement was that they done a white shirt that won’t compete with or swallow whole the jewelry. This created a cohesive appearance across the board, while still allowing them to feel comfortable in their own favorite attire. I also made sure to snap 20389723 photos so that I one: have blackmail photos and two: can catch them in candid, natural poses and movements. I hope you kittens enjoy clicking through and be sure to give Alexz, Andrea, Crystal, Karrin, Karyn, Linsey, Lora, Maranda, Rachael and finally Samantha your rabid attention as well! Whew. Oh, and most importantly: go support our incredible, ever evolving and magical Earth by purchasing an eco friendly necklace [or 10].

x.Merl

Meet Yen. She also answers to Canadian Goddess. Or Sequin Hoarder. Or Diet Coke Queen. Or [how she's saved in my phone] Cat Mama in Training. She happens to be one of my nearest and dearest. I love the lady as much as I love my furbabies and vintage brass. She’s actually the very first lady I contacted in the blogosphere after a couple glasses of wine one evening. I sassed her face off and challenged her to a sequin clothing challenge. Basically it was love at first email, and we’ve been comparing adorable cat photos, words of righteous encouragement and life frustrations ever since. The only downfall to our friendship is that she lives in Hamilton, Ontario, and I in Chicago. Until I can convince her to pack up her argumentative husband [only to bleeding heart liberals like myself], furbabies and stockpiles of vintage goodness to live in my guest room and film a reality show [networks, HELLO?!], I will have to be content with imessages, the occassional facetime date and rare, in person sarcastic hug fests to convince her that Clyde is cuter than Kyle.

But the purpose of this post isn’t to wax poetic about Yen, it’s to talk about me. Or more specifically the jewels you see wrapping around her hot bod in the above photos [shot by yours truly]. This was a piece I had brought with me to first Montauk to shoot my spring 2011 lookbook with Miss Morgan, and then to NYC as we celebrated her birthday. Though Yen fell deeply in love with the harness, it ended up with my little mental Gemini twin Emily. Though it may seem like I keep the handmade jewelry circulating amongst my gal pals, I’m actually totally willing to send them off to homes of strangers. …Just prepare yourself for my inevitable friendship.

[x]m.

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would you like to be featured on the next ‘throw back thursday‘ jewelry post? Send me an email with a link to how you wore a clyde’s rebirth original masterpiece [just go with it] and if we aren’t already internet besties, include a short bio about yourself. obviously be sure to include your favorite color and spirit animal.

[quote by Ira Glass // graphic by ... halp. I'm a horrible blogger and just saved it to my desktop ages ago??]

As I dig through my archives to ready myself for a branding rebirth and reorganization of sorts, I can’t help but cringe looking at my first couple lookbooks and jewelry creations. I won’t label them as bad, just mildly embarrassing. Like the baby photos that your mom brings out the first time you bring your significant other home. You can’t help but laugh even while you groan and blush as she turns the page followed by her over sharing commentary.

When I decided to leave my job as a photographer in 2008, I was full of passion and inspiration and ideas and all the gusto one ginger could muster [hint: it's a lot].. but I didn’t know how to make those happen in reality. I also didn’t know how to admit I didn’t know. If I was quitting my secure, well paying job to make jewelry, I should know exactly what I was doing and have all the tools and materials available that I will wield with a master’s hand, right!? Um. right. Totally. Thank the cat gods for the internet. I would say I was googling ‘how to..‘, ‘what kind of..‘, and ‘funny cat videos’ multiple times a day.  I stated my new career label tentatively. As if waiting for the other person to jump at me with LIAR! spewing from their mouths, spilling my dirty, amateur secret to the world.

I still struggle with this, 3 years later.

I have felt that way about all of my career paths since being self employed. Since there is no one above verifying that I am indeed good at what I do, I feel like I can’t claim these titles for my own. But you know what? I LOVE what I do. I love creating jewelry from discarded materials. I love capturing people, places, things, emotion, & light on camera. I love helping people create greener wardrobes while making choices that, however small, help lessen their impact on our environment. Of course I’m going to be making mistakes and bumbling my way through things until I can figure them out, but as long as I am happy with the journey, I’m going to keep being the little train that could. It will just involve a lot of swearing, cat youtube videos and blank nodding til I can google what that person just asked me. And when I’m 80 and looking back through my life’s work.. I can laugh and blush, but also beam with pride knowing that I spent my time learning how to do the things I loved. I hope you kittens do the same.

[x]m.

that last post was a bit of a doozy, eh? and who knew it would preclude an even rougher patch in my life.. luckily there was a light at the end of that seemingly never ending tunnel and luckily it wasn’t the lights of a freight train. instead it was bangs! an American Apparel cat shirt for 1/3 of the normal price! a new found vigor and zest for my creative path in life! a determination to be happy, dammit! ….clearly the cat shirt was the highlight.

sometimes you have to hit a dirty, rocky bottom with a 1/2″ of freezing cold ‘water’ that you lay in while cursing humanity and generally feeling 24830 shades of sorry for yourself before you can glance over and see the diamond encrusted pathway to sanity, I mean salvation just hanging out at sea level. after you yell “THAT WAS SERIOUSLY THERE THE WHOLE TIME?!” while flinging dirty ‘water’ everywhere with your hands in exclamation, you can limp on through to a fresh start. that magical escape is different for everyone.. my first few steps involved a lot of chips, corporeal cuddling and youtube makeup tutorials before I could move on towards real meals, a social life and designing my spring jewelry line [my wardrobe, cats and friends all appreciate that I didn't begin the trek crawling, but instead sedately walked on through]. that’s right kittens, you see that bomb ass chain that be swinging from my neck? SPRING LINE YA HEARD. can you guys keep a secret? I don’t like to play favorites, but this is my favorite line/group of creations/cohesive set of designs EVAHR. I would, and have personally worn every single piece on multiple occasions [and I still blush and smile like a loon when complimented on it by a kind stranger] and even plan on hoarding keeping one of each style for my personal collection which has rarely, if ever happened in the 4 years I’ve been designing clyde’s rebirth. so.. you know.. if you were waiting for MY recommendation.. buy one of each. just to be on the safe side.

from a dirty, questionably damp pit to rainbow filled [use your imagination], diamond encrusted [seriously, stretch the limits of creativity here] alley behind my studio where I get to strut and pose like a weirdo while wearing a made-for-me shirt and my own jewelry creation as my gal pal Sam snaps my photos. I’m liking this fresh start ALOT.

[x]m.

Excuse me, I seem to have gotten off track. New starts, I love ya, Mondays.. we’re working on it. So with the fresh new laundry smell of 2013 still enveloping us with it’s promises of a shiny, yet to be tarnished new beginning, you’d think I would be literally vibrating with plans and hopes and dreams and ideas. And boy howdy am I ever. Though there was a lot of truly lovely occurrences that took place with Oah’12 [my first full year in the city I can enthusiastically and finally call home, beginning my journey as an eco terrorist eco stylist,  joining creative forces by sharing a studio with my sailor mouthed barbie mannequin Karyn, meeting this guy, and countless others] it was also rife with controversy and heartache. One of the biggest issues I suffer from while being a self employed creative is creating a division and establishing discipline between my personal and professional life. When something negative happens in the personal, it directly affects my professional. When I am angry or depressed, I cannot function in work mode. I can’t process new orders or clients, and forget about tackling that to-do list. It was different when I had someone else dictating my duties. I could show up and enter auto-pilot mode to get through the day. I wasn’t at my most efficient level, but I could still function. Now that I’m my own boss and the sole employee, I suffer greatly from the absence of outside leadership during times of distress.

Because of the highly tumultuous nature of 2012, I feel a bit shaken and a bit lost entering 2013. It’s lead me to question a lot about myself and lean towards focusing on the negative. What I am not, what I don’t have, what I haven’t achieved. Comparing myself to others. Jealousy. I feel defeated before I even start. I have so many dreams, ideas, plans, hopes, wants. Sometimes I can even devise actual ways to achieve them. But something keeps getting in the way.. and that something is Me [insert evil cackle from my devil twin Nallirrem].

I don’t have a self destructive nature, but I will grudgingly admit I gravitate towards the guilty pity party mode. I get down on myself for not doing/being/trying everything that I can possibly do to be the best ME -whether it be in regards to my career, my health, my mental well being, etc- which then leads unerringly towards the quicksand of guiltville. I have the opportunity to really create a change for the better in people’s lives, but I feel glued to the TV broadcasting one staticky channel of my failures on repeat, like a poorly made blooper reel minus the laugh track. No one’s perfect dammit, so why am I so transfixed on my lack-there-of’s and not more on the I’m-all-that-and-a-bag-o-chips? Then I realized I’ve wasted countless hours focusing on the can’ts, haven’ts, don’t know how the fuck to’s while others are fantazing about having my freedom to make those mistakes. Further into the quicksand I go. There will be days that I miraculously find footing amongst the sinking sand and gulp the sweet, sweet air of purpose and self righteousness. I have plans, you hear me?! I am going to change the world! I might even grasp the seemingly nonexistent olive branch in an attempt to finally free myself from the depth of despair. Then something makes my hand slip. It could be an unbidden thought from within.. “you can’t do that. who do you think you are? no expert that’s for sure.” It could be an emotional stab wound from my personal life. It could be a slow sales week. My hand loses it’s grip and I sink back into the quicksand that is slowly, depressingly feeling more and more familiar and sickeningly comfortable. And when I slide lower and lower, the more energy it seems to take just to think of escaping, let alone actualizing the retreat plan. I almost want to dunk my head to hide my shame of letting it get this bad. I evade queries about life and business. Slap on that happy face. Never let them see the stark terror and uncertainty that plague my waking minutes not consumed by cat youtube videos.

Whoa. Deep huh? Depressing as well, no doubt. Not your typical “year in review!’ and definitely not the person I want to be. But with Nall, Guilt and Self Doubt taking turns jumping on my shoulders, it’s hard to find the silver lining, the ray of hope, the light at the end of the tunnel. The speedy escalator out of that fucking quicksand. It’s high time I sew some spikes on my sweaters. Apply some rubber on my hats. Reach out for a friendly bitchslap to the psyche [though a lovingly gentle one.. I am a redhead after all, and possess a lower pain threshold]. I’m hoping that this blog post will be the kick off point [I would insert some witty relation to football here, but that sport will never really make sense to me] and will inspire me to be more honest with myself and with yous kittens, but in a supportive and forgiving way. No one is perfect. Normal is a myth. Everyone has bad days. I am not alone.

Change of any sort takes time, so a promise of immediate turn around and a full roster of blog posts is not only unrealistic, but rude to you guys. There is an awful lot I hope to accomplish by learning how to view myself differently, not the least of which is breathing new life into my career, but first and foremost: I want to learn how to wholeheartedly love myself again. Faults, scars and all. I hope that anyone else suffering from the quicksand knows they also aren’t alone. We can tread sand together while our loved ones carefully bitchslap us with branches til we claw our way out onto shaky, but solid ground. Who’s with me?

[x]m.

Ok. So I’m excited about something happening tomorrow. Rapidly excited. Unable to form rational thought because I’m consumed with excitement over the event taking place tomorrow. ready for it? easy now…

[click to enlarge]

I’m headed across the pond! Though I hope the flight will have slightly less turbulence than pictured. My sister has spent her fall semester studying abroad in cheery ol’ London so myself and the boy are flying over to put her tour guide skillz to good use. We are also popping over to Dublin to see an old friend of mine, swinging by some weird rocks in the UK, enjoying some baked goods in Amsterdam, utilizing my amazing french vocabulary in Paris and obviously peeing myself while going down the longest zip line in Europe over by Milan. There’s going to be lots of train sleeping and making new friends in pubs and have I mentioned I’m a little excited about it? I would love ANY and ALL suggestions of places to go, people to see and beer to be guzzled #pleaseandthankyou.

But I wouldn’t leave without a parting gift for you kittens! Since I’m leaving my poor shoppes for 2 weeks right before Christmas, I’m offering a sweet little deal to entice yous to spend that hard earned $$$ on a small, independent shop that helps the environment this year. For the first TEN orders placed between November 28th-December 17th, I will give FREE EXPEDITED SHIPPING IN THE USA! That means even though your package won’t be shipped out until the 18th, it should still arrive by Christmas. For the next 10 orders placed after that, I’m going to offer free US & international shipping! For my fellow Americans, you may still get your items in time to place under the tree, but my out of the country pals are unfortunately going to have to wait. But who doesn’t love opening presents AFTER Christmas? I don’t know about you kittens, but I’m all for stretching out the holiday season like your favorite sweat pants.

[x]m!

*first photo from here & second from here. all squiggly lines by moi.

That’s right little kittens.. it’s MEGA SALE TIME!!!!!!! Those who know me well, know I despise the overuse of exclamation points, but for once I think they are not only allowed but necessary. We’re talking about FIDDY PERCENT OFF GUYS. Caps are also obviously required. These goods will be available until this Sunday [Nov 18th] after which they will be gone FOR-EV-VER [seriously there's no links to the sandlot scene?!]. Speak [spend] now or forever hold your peace [whining about missing out]. The good old etsy shop will not be closing, but I will be using the space to showcase the remaining pieces from my new line, as well as the new one of a kind pieces trickling in next week. Supplies are getting into the lower quantities for this first collection, and though they had lots of brothers and sisters to begin with, once they are gone, they are GONE as well. Such is the beauty and downfall of designing with vintage materials. Moral of the story: quit wiffle waffling and snatch up your favs!

[x]m.

^ That stunner is my friend Nikka. She’s a dancer, singer, actor extraordinaire AND she’s intelligent, witty and a recent addition to the crazy cat lady family. Basically there’s no reason not to love her. Now if we are talking about knocking her out and stealing her wardrobe? Totally understandable.. in fact, I still have a shirt dress of hers from my most recent trip to the apple that I hug on the regular in lieu of the lady herself. [Nikka, give me your damn address so I can return it you silly beautiful fool.] Don’t believe me? Check her stylish ass out in Time Out New York. Now.. I may be slightly biased, but my favorite ensemble happens to be the one featured above. It may have something to do with her wearing a custom designed body chain by yours truly. To get a closer look, I present exhibits b, c & d:

“MERL! I NEED ONE OF THOSE RIGHT NOW! ACTUALLY I NEED IT YESTERDAY! WHERE O WHERE CAN I PROCURE ONE OF MY OWN?!”

Well now, there’s no need to shout, I’m only right here. I understand your excitement however.. and while I can’t produce that exact creation for you eager gals, I do have some similarly AWESOME infinity body chains hitting the new store tomorrow, with more hot on their heels next week! These will be a big different in style, but I do have plans to create more of Nikka’s version as well. BIG things in the works little kittens. HUGE.

[x]m.